Too much

I know I only usually post one blog post per day but this one needs to be said. So lately I've had some issues at work from time to time where I'll find myself berated but will laugh it off and try not to resort to anger like I did in my younger days. Well while on hormones my mood has fluctuated at times, but for the most part it has stayed reasonable. Well today getting a certain message seems to have really driven me off the end and I finally just said "Fuck it." I hate having to help people and then getting berated later. If I'm really going to move through with these changes then I need to cut EVERYTHING that has been holding me back and making my life miserable. These people are some of the ones that have been making it hard for me.

While I will miss some of the other people I liked hanging out with while there it just doesn't justify how much I was abused there by the other staff. So I think I am ready to move and finally get my life back on track and hopefully this will push me forward into finally becoming me. It's funny at my lowest points where my tolerance for this sort of stuff is low is where I seem to shine and move for the most change. While I still feel inadequate and still feel quite down I don't think I want to take any more years of this sort of mental abuse and think it's time for me to move on to another district for my job. The only downside is I'd have to talk to my manager first who would have to talk to another one. Which in turn can really screw up someone's review for later on, but I suppose it would be worth it if I could finally start cracking a real smile and stop stressing as much.

-Jirah